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Joke of the Day

"Hey guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes, nobody likes you."

"Every poop begins with p Read with the Kay jingle in mind."

"These food blogs start simple. 'How to cook rice. Boil. Serve' But over time... 'How to creme brulee baba ganoush with caramel'."

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Job interview with Al-Qaeda Had a job interview with Al-Qaeda today. ""Where do you see yourself exploding in five years? "", they asked."

"Anakin: How do we get in? Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*"

"Giving compliments... ...to women is like pot-hitting in a mine field."

"What is a caterpillar's biggest fear? A dogerpillar."

"Relationship status: I shout ""PIZZA'S HERE"" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm eating two pizzas by myself."

"People keep asking me today ""So you have a new boss?"" No, I'm still with my wife."