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Joke of the Day

"A cannibal and her daughter are eating dinner... ""Mommy! Mommy! I don't like daddy!"" ""Just eat your salad dear."""

"If water is h20, what is ice H2O^3"

"Forget The Walmart and Amazon scam I have the best price on a PS4. I am gonna need about Tree Fiddy."

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair!"

"What do you call backup milk? *Secondairy*"

"My wife calls my penis Nicolas Cage It's highly temperamental and tends to go off for no reason at all."

"What does a pretentious owl say? Whom whom."

"APPLE GENIUS: how did u get so much water on the laptop [flashback to me taking my laptop into the shower so i could tweet] ME: hurricane"

"""i before me, excepts after we.."" - gollum in elementary school"

"A man at a pub told me that he has no anus I told him he's full of shit"