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Joke of the Day

"If water is h20, what is ice H2O^3"

"the chemistry between me and any kind of food is just whoa"

"we lost our power ""why?"" a transformer blew up by our house *eyes widen* ""that's awes-"" it's not as cool as it sounds"

"America's immigration problems are over. Who'd want to live here?"

"I may have Alzheimer's but at least I don't have Alzheimer's."

"Are you saying that if I shoot you with a pistol, you won't get hurt? Why don't you give it a shot?"

"Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake? He had a reptile dysfunction"

"Just farted loudly outside my office before checking to see if anyone was nearby. Nobody was. It's called the #edge, & I am #livin on it"

"I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel. It was tomorrow."

"How do they educate locomotive drivers? They train them"