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Joke of the Day

"What do you call backup milk? *Secondairy*"

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"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work."
"Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic... ...and the mental health system is failing me miserably."
"What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its hips."
"Is it all black people that have a problem with slavery? Or just mine ?"
"I had lunch at Uri Geller's house the other day... It was terrible. I ended up with soup all down my front."
"What did Sacagawea the frog say in the trampoline factory? I'm very hoppy."
"I'm on hold with West Elm and they're playing a contemporary jazz song with a man saying ""aquarium"" every 4 counts. Hold music is evolving"
"Autocorrect can be a real birch. Dammit!"
"What is Hitler's favorite video game? Grand theft Otto"