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Joke of the Day

"APPLE GENIUS: how did u get so much water on the laptop [flashback to me taking my laptop into the shower so i could tweet] ME: hurricane"

"What do you call a French guy wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope"

"Dark humor is like a terrorist attack... the timing needs to be just right."

"You know what makes a lot of sense? A dollar"

"There's plenty of jobs in the porn industry when you have a dick like mine. Camera man, light and sound technician."

"What is the cuddliest particle known to science? The HUGS boson!"

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a Vagina? A vagina is attatched to Bill Clintons wife"

"Why does Snoop carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle"

"Why are most guys like floor tile? Because if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them from the rest of your life!"

"I was chatting with a deaf person on omegle. He asked me ""ASL?""."