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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would *never* let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."

"(pretending to be well-read to impress a girl) War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one ""What was your favorite part?"" I'd have to say the Peace"

"Two caw are standing in a field Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter."

"Candy cigarettes are a gateway drug to rock candy."

"People that can't support their own arguments piss me off... I don't know why."

"What I learned from watching Star Trek: Nothing. I've never watched Star Trek. I am popular with friends. We don't do that."

"How did Jeffrey Dahmer make alphabet soup? With 26 characters he met at a party."

"Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She threw away all of the W's."

"What's better than roses on your piano Tulips on your organ"

"When Catwoman gets older, does she become Cougarwoman?"