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Joke of the Day

"Ever wonder how many of your friends are jerks? Just post something with a typo in it..... It's like their mating call."

"Why does Gordon Ramsay always use a condom? Because he should not be FUCKING RAAWWW!!"

"You don't need a hunting licence if you shoot a turkey and plant a very small gun on him."

"What does an existentialist bully say? ""Quit being yourself, quit being yourself!"""

"I can't wait for turkey dinner tomorrow. I love middle eastern food."

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy... Feels good until you look down and realize you're gay."

"Still super weird to me that humans can make other smaller humans. I wish mozzarella sticks could make other smaller mozzarella sticks."

"Hey baby, lemme see what's under that shell. Ugh, as if. *Lady turtle starts walking away.* [3 hours later] I still see you there baby."

"What's the Vatican City's favorite snack? popecorn"

"There is nothing worse than watching the new guy at Subway make your sandwich."