1545

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a trespassing camper? Criminal intent"

"My son said, ""Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think, 'My life has been a complete failure.'?"" I said, ""Not unless you're standing behind me."""

"Whenever someone says ""I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart"", all I hear is ""I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart""."

"Why can't Whitney Houston be a pharmacist? She over doses"

"Either a lying war criminal endorsed by the KKK or a Neo Nazi reality TV star are going to be President of America. It's not funny. But it is a fucking joke. America, sort your shit out."

"One i made up for my mexican friends. If a Rabbi blesses food it's kosher. What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest? A: HOLY MOLE' Thank you, I'll be in r/dadjokes all week!"

"Doctor Doctor Can I have second opinion? Of course come back tomorrow!"

"If Dracula saw Twilight, he'd stake himself."

"Remember back in the day when you'd call someone gay and it was an insult? Now a day, everybody is just so butthurt when you do..."

"you remember me as the guy who put his arm in the doorway to hold open the automatic door for you in 2009. welll, now i need a favor"