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Joke of the Day

"[911 call] ""My hand's stuck in a blender!"" ""Turn it on then."" ""What?"" "" I can't hear it, turn it on so I know you're not lying."""

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong sock on this morning."

"Reddit censorship is getting out of hand [removed]"

"More retailers should adopt the ""Leave A Penny / Take A Penny"" system. It is literally, common cents."

"A blind man walks into a bar... And hits his head."

"""Describe 2016 in 4 words"" ""That's a tomorrow problem"""

"it's been 12 years since Shrek came out, I still can't get over the fact that Donkey had sex with a dragon.."

"My last relationship was a lot like Forrest Gump... I was retarded and she was a whore."

"What has a 10 foot neck four legs and loves money. A Jewraffe"

"In terms of sausages... Hitler was the wurst."