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Joke of the Day

"Hey y'all, I finally got a smart phone. I'm a big girl now! Anyone got a 5 year old I can borrow to teach me how to use the damn thing?"

"Whats the difference between your mom and your dad? Your dad didnt cry when I fucked him in the ass."

"martha stewart put a drop of citrus oil in the bong water and i cant even be mad at her. in fact it is the opposite emotion"

"Dark humor is a lot like a child with cancer. It never gets old."

"They aren't so different. A pizza delivery man and a Gynecologist aren't so different when you think about it. They both can smell it, but they can't eat it."

"What if a side effect to laxatives was death? That'd be a shitty way to die."

"What would the most depressing game show be? Biggest Loser: All-Stars."

"what do you get when you cross a rabbit and an ant? Bugs Bunny."

"I learned how to yodel -Knock knock. --Who's there? -Yoda lady. --Yoda lady who? -Good job yodeling!"

"I was going to make a gay joke... Butt fuck it."