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Joke of the Day

"The second I sense someone about to ask for a bite of what I'm eating, I immediately shove the whole damn thing in my mouth & look baffled."

"Whenever I'm watching the NBA and a ref makes a bad call, I go down to Foot Locker and yell at the employees."

"I told my sister a joke about the belts. I didn't know if it would hold up"

"Where did Hitler send his Oranges? The concentration camps."

"How do you make a dog meow? Put him in a wood chipper and listen to him go ""meeeeowwww""."

"So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It's safe to say; that didn't go down very well."

"A bird in the hand is never as fun as a hand in the bush."

"Donald Trump and I have a lot in common People like him, but nobody knows why"

"FARMER: can I help you, sir? ME: this ain't my first rodeo, buddy FARMER: [narrows eyes] ME: ok maybe it is [climbs off sheep]"

"Canadian light beers are like having sex on the beach. It's fucking close to water."