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Joke of the Day

"*gets so drunk I grab a fish out of your fish tank and shakes it at you screaming ""WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THIS?!"" *"

"Check for bed bugs by yelling ""Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!"", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire."

"I just don't get the immigration issue... If they can't get Visas, then they should just apply for Mastercards."

"You haven't experienced awkwardness and felt like a complete idiot until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I'd say I'm about 74% Rice Krispies."

"Why do clouds make good Kings? Because they have rain over every country in the world."

"What did Meghan Trainor say when she got mugged? Please sir, I don't want any treble."

"So Nicole Scherzinger has gone from Lewis Hamilton to Ed Sheeran... Guess orange really is the new black."

"Just kick higher, dammit! This isn't Rockette science."

"Jewish Car Did you hear about the new Jewish car? Not only can it turn on a dime, but it can go back and pick it up too"