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Joke of the Day

"So Nicole Scherzinger has gone from Lewis Hamilton to Ed Sheeran... Guess orange really is the new black."

"Son: Dad, you work so hard and never get any credit. You're like a superhero! Dad: Nice try. You're still not getting the Internet password."

"Why did God give Black guy's big dicks? He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads."

"What's your crappiest Pick-up attemp? Me: ""Hey, how much does a polar bear weights?"" Her: o.O ""Wut...idk"" Me: ""Enough to break the ice, I'm NuComer, how you doing?"""

"I got a new job working in an underwear factory I'll be pulling down 800 a week"

"The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare. Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie."

"Can we PLEASE... stop beating a dead gorilla."

"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because their sheep can hear zippers."

"What do you call a learned spider? A webdesigner"

"Whenever you go to do something, bring a hammer and a screwdriver... the first time it doesn't work, hit it with a hammer. If it doesn't work after that, screw it."