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Joke of the Day

"You haven't experienced awkwardness and felt like a complete idiot until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"How will the whales ever evolve if we keep pushing them back in the water?"

"What did the proctologist say to the guy with glued ass cheeks? You're in some sticky shit."

"""class... raise your hand if you know what ""getting laid"" means"" *room of 4th graders is silent* *kid with heelys raises hand*"

"How do you know you're playing a Jewish Football team (American Football) On defense, they only run the Dime Formation"

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway? You take the S out of SAFE and you take the F out of WAY"

"When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house ? When the door is open !"

"What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant."

"Someone once asked me if I was drunk. I said yes. That was the shortest job interview I've ever had."

"My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performance on a scale of 1-10, last night we tried anal she kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."