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Joke of the Day

"Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I'd say I'm about 74% Rice Krispies."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph... Cause he's not a full ese"

"Why didn't the leopard go on vacation? It couldn't find the right spot."

"Being a vegetarian is a big missed steak."

"They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex. It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs."

"What do you call a biscuit on a motorbike? A bikkie."

"Boy, Peter Parker is lucky he was bitten by a spider and not one of those fainting goats."

"Whats invisible and smells like carrots? bunny farts"

"Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational."

"I'm tired of the bad jokes, dad. Doubt you can hear me anyway. I'm pullin' the plug. ""...hi pullin' the plug, I'm da-"" *pulls the plug*"