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Joke of the Day

"Check for bed bugs by yelling ""Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!"", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire."

"I was told I needed to do some soul searching... so I Googled James Brown."

"As Microsoft reveal the new Windows 10, people start to question what happened to Windows 9. Microsoft's answer: Windows 7 ate it."

"I've got to go guys. Yesterday I bought a new shampoo that's supposed to change my life."

"Chuck norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it."

"A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!"

"What do you do for a living? I herd cattle. Ah, you're a rancher? No, I'm a Zumba instructor."

"What did the conceited man say while he stood on the north pole? The earth revolves around me."

"Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate? I'm staunchly pro-volone."

"I beat a Prius today... Thank goodness I had on my running shoes."