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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Divorce Barbie ...includes the house the car and half of Ken's belongings"

"If John Lennon made a rap song today It would go... I'm in love with the Yoko! Them other Beatles thinking oh no! Now they wanna go solo! But no one give a fuck about Ringo!"

"I spent last night at the 'As Seen on TV' store. I wanted to party like it's $19.99."

"Santa goes to... Santa goes to your house, goes down your chimney, and watches you while you're asleep... And everyone adores him... I do it one time..."

"Who's this ""moderation"" character people keep telling me to drink with?"

"One Girl, Two Cups would be a terrible name for a bra shop."

"OH AND JUST FYI.... THE BAGS UNDER MY EYES ARE LOUIS VUITTON"

"'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support."

"How do Southerners get through customs so quickly? They do declare!"

"Starbucks should have a separate line for people who don't know what they want or how the world works."