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Joke of the Day
"OH AND JUST FYI.... THE BAGS UNDER MY EYES ARE LOUIS VUITTON"
Next Joke
"The string of expletives that poured from my mouth when I woke up at 3 pm to realize my alarm didn't go off was pure smut poetry"
"I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal."
"Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles? He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East."
"A jumper cable walks into a bar The bartender says, ""Sure, you can stay, but don't start anything!"""
"I fed the pigs at my farm their food, I guess I could say they went ham"
"How many pirates does it take to screw in a lightbulb in China? "
"WHY DO WE ALLOW OTHER COUNTRIES TO TAG THEIR NAME ON TO SOMETHING AND SELL US LIES WHEN THEY DO IT WRONG? CANADIAN BACON? ENGLISH MUFFINS?"
"if you can't handle me at my worst, you're probably that gutless Outback Steakhouse shift manager who called the cops on me last night"
"Everyone in my class is arguing about science, And I'm just sitting here, maths debating."