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Joke of the Day

"If John Lennon made a rap song today It would go... I'm in love with the Yoko! Them other Beatles thinking oh no! Now they wanna go solo! But no one give a fuck about Ringo!"

"[comes out of coma after 12 years] ME: Holy shit I forgot to set my AIM status to 'Away'! DOCTOR: you might want to take a seat"

"isnt it odd how people kill flys just because they're annoying if people killed people for being annoying i would've died like 15 years ago"

"My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9."

"Your tits look better when you don't talk."

"romantic comedy about middle aged people playing tennis 40-love"

"YO' MAMA IS SO FAT... GODZILLA Yo' Mama is so fat, she makes Godzilla look like an action figure."

"I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up."

"How many points do I get if I hit a Pokemon player with my car?"

"What do you do with dead chemists? Barium"