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Joke of the Day

"A young man was at prom with his date. He went off in search for something to drink. After getting lost a few times, he finally asked a chaperone, ""So where's the punch line?"""

"How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb? You don't need to, they glow in the dark."

"What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass."

"The John Deere manure spreader It's the only product the company won't stand behind"

"What's the difference between some people and a bucket of shit? The bucket."

"* during an interview * Interviewer: ""So how long were you employed in your last job?"" Candidate: ""I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills."""

"I work at a bar, don't like it but it pays good. I just kneaded the Dough. EDIT: Not bar, bakery. Sand autocorrect. Never use Reddit on a phone."

"What is a whales favorite pasttime? Netflix and krill."

"Q: Why doesn't Bill like old houses? A: He's afraid of the draft."

"Jennifer Aniston's dance scenes as a stripper in ""We're The Miller's"" are totally Oscar worthy. Oscar is my nickname for my penis."