37859

Joke of the Day

"What is a whales favorite pasttime? Netflix and krill."

"What happens when U change position too fast? You get an unpleasant vowel movement."

"Q: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A: I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face..."

"What's the difference between anal sex and oral sex? Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak."

"*Texts* Can I come over bae? I need you. <3 *Gets reply text* DUDE, STOP CALLING ME THAT. I'M YOUR DEALER NOT YOUR BAE. BRING CA$H!"

"A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius."

"What do you call a woman who can successfully play pool whilst balancing a glass of lager on her head? Beatrix Potter."

"I've decided to start my own herb garden. I've got a lot of extra Thyme."

"I love Comcast. Jokes over."

"Another beautiful day to waste the utopian potential of social media on social media."