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Joke of the Day

"[2016, cincinnati zoo. boy falls into the enclosure] other gorilla: something brought a boy to the yard harambe [making a milkshake]: SHIT"

"Why did r/TwoXChromosomes flood? The dyke broke."

"""You are what you eat"" thats funny, I don't remember eating a pathetic failure"

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat"

"[FIRST DATE] Me, opening mouth seductively: ""And this is where I burned my tongue on pizza, and this is where I burned my tongue on fries, a"

"I got hit by a truck with a camouflage paint job. It came out of nowhere."

"Conan: The US is on pace 2 b the world's largest producer of oil. So if history has taught us anything, the US will soon be invading the US."

"My scale is broken. It only seems to go up."

"A drug dealer sold me shoes today I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day."

"If farting was a mechanism to flag my territory, I would rule the world."