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Joke of the Day

"Jesus is really mad at me, and I don't know why. I even said have a good friday!"

"Actually Jesus wasn't the carpenter, Joseph was. You're thinking of the Carpenter's Monster"

"I'm not saying women are smarter than men, but its kinda ironic that there's so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders."

"I found Jesus last week... My garden has never looked nicer."

"I knew a person who was against warrior princesses He was a Xenaphobe"

"I'm a responsible person. People are always saying ""I know you're responsible for this."""

"When a cashier thanks you for your purchase, unsettle them by looking deep in their eyes and softly saying, ""Anything for a friend."""

"Is there a scientific name for the state where you're not hungry but you want to keep eating, besides ""awake"""

"Farmer What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor"

"It's kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there."