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Joke of the Day

"Coworker just said ""I need a thick black one."" She was talking about a marker but I'm still reporting her to HR for sexual harassment."

"""Everyone has at least one novel inside them"" Baffled airport security rectal examiner at the end of a long, confusing shift"

"My daughter's been seeing someone called Jim. Only for an hour each time, always in sports gear and often sweaty afterwards. I don't approve"

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton survive a capsized boat. Who drowns? The boat."

"I heard there is a new dating app for paedophiles Kinder is due to be released shortly!"

"I tried to grab some fog on the way to work But I mist."

"Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a pub... Barman says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Barbie didn't give me a poor body image; Barbie taught me you can't reattach a head once it's been removed from the body."

"Probably the Grossest Joke I Know How do Vampires Make Tea? Used Tampons"

"How do you shut up a deaf person? Punch them in the hands."