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Joke of the Day

"Let's emotionally damage each other and call it Love."

"Hello?.... Steph? Man: Can I get Steph Curry's number? Operator: 1-800-war-rior Man: I tried that, but it didn't ring"

"My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery and to honor her, I poured a fine, 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave. But first I filtered it through my kidneys. EDIT: Holy crap! Front page!!!"

"About 90% of people do not know the opposite of these words... Always Coming From Take Me Down"

"It says a lot about someone... It says a lot about someone when they try to prank you by putting aluminum foil in the toilet bowl. It says even more about you when it works."

"Racism is wrong I have never been racist before. It's wrong for anybody to be racist, it doesn't matter whether they're black, Asian, or normal."

"*Snowman wakes up in hospital* ""What happened to me?!"" Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did?"

"Whats the fastest way into a woman's heart? A pick-axe"

"It was time to show my girlfriend how i really feel.. so i showed her my hands.."

"How did Harry Potter Get Down the Hill? Walking. JK. Rolling."