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Joke of the Day

"*Snowman wakes up in hospital* ""What happened to me?!"" Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did?"

"I once swallowed two separate strings and they came out of my ass tied together. I shit you knot."

"My girlfriend broke up with me. I am devastated. How could you. I did everything. I surprised you with burgers every night"

"A brother and sister are fucking and the girl suddenly giggles Brother: Why are you giggling? Sister: Because! You fuck just like dad, haha! Brother: I know, mom told me"

"Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? One goes ""cockadoodle doo"", the other goes, ""Any cock 'ill do."" Old joke my 60-something grandfather told me when I was 10"

"What did the pirate say when asked how old he was? Aye Matey!"

"Wood Tits A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line, wooden tit?"

"I'am drinking with my new GF and her gay friend from work. So there's 100% chance I'am getting laid and a 50% chance I'll like it."

"The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things."

"What do you call an african american guy walking into the DMV? An african american guy walking into the DMV, you racist f#ck."