203839

Joke of the Day

"It says a lot about someone... It says a lot about someone when they try to prank you by putting aluminum foil in the toilet bowl. It says even more about you when it works."

"*catcher puts 1 finger down* *pitcher shakes head* *puts 2 fingers down* *nods* (catcher to umpire) ""can we take a break? he has to poop"""

"What the pepper say to the angry chilli? If you don't cool down, I'm going to get jalapeno business"

"Before mustaches were invented, people had to just GUESS who owned a water bed"

"I'd like you to meet my family, my wife Sharon, my son Carl, and this balloon that follows me around"

"Whats would happens if you added Hillary Clinton and the USA and subtracted an A? I dont know but it would be Hillary Us."

"If you're a guy who just had sex, what do you have? Happenis"

"What do you call a huge pair of tits you want to see but never get a chance to? Cliffhangers"

"I came home to a man going down on my asian wife... I looked that man straight in the eye and said to him ""Was it worth it? You know you're gonna be hungry again in an hour!"""

"There's a button on this hotel phone that says, ""Pizza"". I may never leave."