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Joke of the Day

"Traffic wardens are so nice in my area... they always leave notes on my car like 'Parking fine'. edit: this joke is fucking awful"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, because he ain't coming over to you."

"Why would I want to talk to your baby? On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that."

"Funny knock knock jokes to use during sex. Keep it going. Knock knock... whos there?... sperm! :D"

"Two fish were in a tank.. one turned back and said to another..""How do you drive this thing?"""

"A beggar walks up to a wealthy, upper-class lady and says, ""I haven't eaten in three days."" She responds, ""You must force yourself! You must force yourself!"""

"I came in like a lion and went out like a kitten."

"North Korea has lowered its missile back down after pointing it up for a few hours. Turns out Viagra and MSG make for bad rocket fuel."

"What do you call a gang of penguins? A ganguin"

"How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it!"