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Joke of the Day
"Two fish were in a tank.. one turned back and said to another..""How do you drive this thing?"""
Next Joke
"I like my ice cream like I like my women. Plain vanilla, and hopefully if it lies around long enough it will get wet so I don't have to do much with my mouth."
"Given that my grandmother's world is upended by soup that is too salty, I can't help but question how bad The Depression REALLY was."
"Smoked some weed the other night with some foreign dudes, massive language barrier... We got Rosetta Stoned."
"Infected with AIDS If someone infected with AIDS fucks everyday, what happens? They kill everything that they fuck."
"My girlfriend made a call during sex... She let me know she was having a great time and she'd be home soon. Thought that was sweet."
"Father: You were absent on the day of the test? Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!"
"Which people do the burgers hate? The ones who are always putting the bite on them!"
"People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away."
"*paramedic holds me as a I lay dying* ME: Tell my family.. all I ever wanted..was a robot butler PM: With a top hat? ME: Of course you idiot"