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Joke of the Day

"*speaking to sandwich* honey, I have good news. you're going to have a baby brother! *starts making another sandwich*"

"A trigonometry professor attends a frat party at UCLA I heard he wore a soc-alt-oga."

"Have you heard about the billboard company who only did JPEG files? I heard they got a lot of stretch marks."

"What's the least spoken language in the world? Sign language."

"What do you get when you mix a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog"

"Imagine having cocks for hands and then being in business type situations where you have to shake hands. How embarrassing."

"A cunt. What do you call someone who reads the punchline first and then the rest of the joke?"

"My girlfriend said she's fed up of me pretending im a detective, and we should split up... I told her that's a great idea, we can cover more ground that way."

"They named a cricket tournament after my friend's grandfather. They call it the ashes for a reason."

"Me: ""Goodnight Bed."" Bed: ""New foam who dis?"""