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Joke of the Day

"They named a cricket tournament after my friend's grandfather. They call it the ashes for a reason."

"Everyone lectures Americans about our politics.. We use our military to lecture the rest of the world's on theirs."

"What does Kansas and jews have in common Dust in the wind"

"My professor's name is Andy Nusbaum. His email is anusbaum@[university].edu"

"Once I came across a bridge that was half concrete and half covered in asphalt It was a real hybridge."

"How do you know your sister is having her period? Your father's dick tastes like blood."

"At my daughter's dance recital. Wait. I don't have any kids. I'm leaving. These girls suck at ballet."

"My urge to sing ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight"" is just a whim away a whim away, a whim away, a whim away"

"THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree"

"Why did the noodle take a bow after the recital? He was the vermicellist"