150982

Joke of the Day

"What did the man say to the bee who wanted to learn the alphabet? Nothing lmao bees cant learn."

"If you hit people hard enough with a tennis racket they turn into waffles."

"Fun prank: tweet ""BRB CLEANING MY GUN!!!"" then don't tweet for 8 years."

"I got a dog for my wife. It was a good trade."

"Desperate, I pull a goose from my bag and throw it screaming into the bully's face. Gertrude, my biggest and angriest goose, destroys him."

"Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen."

"I said to my girlfriend, ""Please get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied, ""you can borrow my iPad."" That spider never knew what fucking hit it."

"If your nervous tick is pointing to the sky then might i suggest not going to auctions anymore."

"What's the difference between an airplane and an abortion? Only one doesn't fly after coming into contact with a hanger"

"A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him."