206479

Joke of the Day

"I'm torn about whether masturbation is good or not On one hand it feels really good"

"What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the missionary position to doggy style? A sexual revolution."

"Newspapers The paperboy didn't deliver my newspaper this morning, so I snuck next door and took the neighbours. In hindsight, kidnapping might have been a little excessive"

"We had a proper, serious, grown-up discussion about pornography recently, and my girlfriend said, ""I don't get porn. Why would I want to watch to people have sex?"" I said, ""Two? People?"""

"What's brown and sticky? a stick."

"These need to be written. Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes? A: A piiig. Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh? A: Santa Claus walking backwards."

"*Slides down your chimney* *Straightens all your pictures*"

"They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by love and her looks are out of sight !"

"BREAKING NEWS: Facebook is down. Worker productivity rises. U.S. climbs out of recession."

"Your momma's so fat Newt Gingrich wants to send astronauts to colonize her."