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Joke of the Day

"Two aerials meet on a roof fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant."

"I just installed a marijuana app It has kush notifications."

"I saw a huge seagull today... It was big enough to be a D-gull But not quite big enough to be an Eagle"

"What do a wicked stepmother and a gag reflex have in common? They both keep you from getting to the ball!"

"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu."

"[NSFW] What do they say after intercourse in Alabama? ""Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my smokes!"""

"I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact."

"There's a part of me that still loves you. I hit that part with a hammer. Stupid part."

"""Look man, I swear to you, as god as my witness..."" [God appears from behind dumpster] ""I ain't coverin for u anymore Larry, you owe me $30"""

"I just woke up from a 13month coma Just in time to see my wife give birth"