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Joke of the Day

"What's the similarity between Bill Cosby and Santa have in common? They both come when you're asleep."

"People are smoking weed today They all think that today is 4/20, too."

"So I just saw the new fifty shades of grey movie It was pretty Greyt"

"Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering."

"My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back."

"How do you piss off a fanboy? Kylo Ren kills Dumbledore."

"Why do ducks try to avoid eating out? They're always stuck with a bill."

"If it looks like a duck & shrieks like a drunken banshee it's probably a white woman getting her picture taken in the club."

"If I were Spock, I would spend 24 hours a day saying things like ""get out of my Vulcan face"" and ""are you Vulcan kidding me?"""

"Her: You're a pathological liar! Me: ...and the King of Spain."