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Joke of the Day
"Why did the lizard use viagra? He had a reptile dysfunction! Credit goes to Gilbert Gottfried"
Next Joke
"What is Superman's greatest weakness? A bucking horse."
"I think my daughter might turn out to be the next Martin Scorsese! (Her eyebrows are fucking terrifying)"
"THE POWER OF NACHOS COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF NACHOS COMPELS YOU!"
"What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squish? An elephant with a wet boot"
"Losing your phone makes dying in a car accident less likely but more appealing."
"Sloth 911: What's your emergency [1 week later] Sloth: I'VE BEEN SHOT [1 week later] Sloth 911: DON'T MOVE! We'll be there in a month"
"""I feel so average"" Tom said meanly"
"call 2 psychiatrists and tell them ur gonna put them on the phone with a guy who thinks he's a psychiatrist. now put them in the same call."
"I'm practicing emotional abstinence I haven't given a fuck in years"