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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear what happened to the computer programmer? His wife told him, ""while you are out, buy some eggs."" He never came back."

"Two men walk out of a bar, both are drunk and ready to fight! One draws a line in the dirt and says to the other man, ""If you cross this line i will punch you!"" That was the punchline."

"There's something about curling... ... that rubs me the wrong way."

"[begin metajoke] What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender? No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. [end metajoke]"

"Sounds like @rickygervais is an arachnophobe, and you know what that means: Deep down inside, he's a spider."

"General Contractor: Don't worry ma'am, everything will be ready, we'll have the scaffolding set up and erected. Me: *mutes phone* hahahahaha"

"What is a gay boxer's favorite drink? Fruity punch"

"Stuff I think about... I've often wondered what would happen if a Schizophrenic took a multi-vitamin. I have many more of these posers I may or may not post...."

"What do Germans and acetone have in common? They are both good at removing the Polish!"

"How does the stork bring babies? It pokes holes in condoms."