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Joke of the Day

"I just had sex with an Astronaut ... It was outta this world"

"What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer? One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer."

"Which US state is the friendliest towards the Japanese? Ohio"

"How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil"

"Jew joke I'm a German Jew raised catholic and a chain smoker. I'm genetically engineered to hate myself.... And I think I'm gassing myself."

"""To be perfectly honest, I'm not a huge fan of beats by Dre."" --Dee Barnes [Context for the clueless](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dee_Barnes)."

"I'm still drunk with power after a Jehovah's Witness asked, ""'Can I ask you one question?"" & I said, ""I think you just did,"" + kept walking."

"A key difference between keeping a cat & chimp as a pet, is a cat will eat your face off when you die. But chimps lack that kind of patience"

"The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you're not will lead to a sweet reward."

"I always tell my kids to stay well clear of any Train tracks... ...except ""Drops of Jupiter"". That one's ok."