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Joke of the Day

"My wife just got an IUD. She says her period will only last about a day now. I said, ""there's gotta be strings attached."""

"FACT: The internet was invented to globalize complaining."

"Today is a military command: March Fourth!"

"What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep."

"What do you call a vagina that talks back to you? An answering cervix"

"Everyone on twitter is single, pretending to be single, or about to be single"

"People Says ,""SMOKING KILLS SLOWLY......"" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . So What, Who'z in a Hurry ....!!!! ;-)"

"eyy gurl, r u part beaver??? cuz dam baby"

"Sex positions for tiny dicks Fuck, this isn't google. **How do I get this off of here?**"

"I was simply stating that your crying child MIGHT fit comfortably in the overhead compartment, lady. #butseriously"