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Joke of the Day

"What is an Actor? A man who tries to be everything but himself"

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"You're like a semicolon. I'm not sure exactly what to do with you."
"Why did the Hawaiian Hipster burn to death? He walked on lava before it was cool."
"The perfect knock knock joke Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who?"
"I'm a Responsible Gun Owner. I did the right thing and got my gun neutered. Now it just fires blanks."
"Scroll Scroll Scroll your phone, gently down the screen. Merilly Merrily Merrily Merrily MY GOD THAT'S OBSCENE!!!!!!!!!"
"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber in"
"What were the yoga instructor's last words when he got electrocuted? Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."
"I bet if Amy Winehouse had changed her name to Amy Lemonadehouse, she'd still be alive today."
"My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it's only good in theory."