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Joke of the Day

"Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows"

"What do you call a black hipster? blipster"

"Wife's Dream! Wife: ""In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."" Husband: ""I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."""

"Any one remembers 'The Game' ? Now I'll fly away."

"Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport"

"what's your best joke involving or being about germans? Just a German who wants to laugh."

"What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A picture only takes one nail to hang up."

"I submitted a group of puns to a pun judging contest hoping one of them would win. No pun in ten did."

"90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running."

"""I made six figures last year."" - Extremely lazy G.I. Joe employee."