182487

Joke of the Day

"I submitted a group of puns to a pun judging contest hoping one of them would win. No pun in ten did."

"There should be a sequel song about needing a ride back from Funkytown."

"The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave"

"Why did the shark go to the doctors? Because he didn't feel very whale"

"I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy."

"So I finally got a housekeeper, it's my ex-wife. She kept the house."

"[edits wikipedia so the facts i made up for my school paper work]"

"What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists? Rise up lights"

"Just returned from my Friends Funeral. He died from being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service."

"I've fallen in love with a pencil and we're getting married. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B."