181934

Joke of the Day

"Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport"

"Muslim scientists.. Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages. They're calling it Islam'."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it's down a chimney! Merry Christmas sickos! :)"

"The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That's Cole's Law."

"My cat just sneezed directly into my eyeballs so I'll probably be dead soon. Goodbye, guys. No, you can't have my stuff."

"We won't know we've truly made it as a society until computers in movies stop making beeping noises"

"What app do nervous ppl order on dates? Chicken Tinders."

"Q: What's a good place for water-skiing? A: A sloped lake."

"What did the ISIS shepherd get arrested for? Trafficking sex workers."

"How to do math with sex. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!"