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Joke of the Day
"What's 3 inches long, stiff, and makes people laugh? My dick."
Next Joke
"Today is national pet day. There is no touching of people in national pet day. I know this now."
"Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk."
"Nothing feels more deflating than when a dog shows zero interest in you."
"My girlfriend said she will leave me unless I stop pretending to be a dung beetle. I said, 'Go right ahead. I can live without sex but I do need to eat every day'."
"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person So I can get a better girlfriend ---Not OC, credit: Anthony Jeselnik"
"Angelina's Twins Photographed In Public For First Time"
"Why do all polish names end in SKI ? They can't spell TOBOGGAN !"
"I once dated a 3 foot tall model who played a supporting role in Cat and the Hat She was a pretty little thing"
"A paper cut is a tree's last revenge."