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Joke of the Day
"Why are divorces so damn expensive? Because they are fucking worth it!"
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"""I'm still years behind on Breaking Bad so I expect the entire internet not to discuss it until it's convenient for me."" - Idiots"
"My wife is like a delicious strawberry popsicle. Cold on the inside and 90% artificial."
"Today I watched a donkey look both ways before crossing the street... ... he was a smart ass."
"How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan? Oh don't worry, they'll tell you."
"I played Lady Gaga at Texas hold 'em. I lost because I fucking suck at cards."
"It costs over 200,000 dollars to raise a child these days. And that's just for alcohol."
"Three men walk into a bar... One ducks."
"My new american football video game has so many glitches. It's really maddening"
"I got in from the pub and poured myself a glass of water. ""You're drunk, aren't you?"" said a disappointed voice behind me. ""What makes you say that, honey?"" I asked. She said, ""This isn't your house."""