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Joke of the Day

"A man was caught beating up an innocent person on the street. He was charged with impersonating a police officer."

Next Joke
 
"Doctor: ""Just lie back and relax, I'll start the lasik eye procedure in a moment."" *Turns on laser* *Patient's face is attacked by cats*"
"If I drew a cartoon depicting Mohamed and Harambe dating It would be Haram-Bae"
"I havent talked to my wife in 6 months. I got a slap the last time I interupted her."
"Ever notice that after you and some friends order a pizza the only conversation you have is ""where the hell is the pizza?"""
"Good morning people.....I woke up feeling myself this morning....wait that doesn't sound right. What I meant is I woke up feeling confidant"
"What do you call a mexican midget? A speck."
"Don't you just hate clickbait titles? Gotcha!"
"I thought you were Russian... ...but it turns out you were just Stalin and Putin me off."
"what do you call the act of masturbation before you sleep? the stroke of midnight."