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Joke of the Day

"Good morning people.....I woke up feeling myself this morning....wait that doesn't sound right. What I meant is I woke up feeling confidant"

"What happened when the fat woman backed into the airplane propeller? Disaster."

"Baby you must be a vector image... Cause no matter how close I look you're still perfect."

"if 9-5 is a full time job, and 11/4 is a part time job, what's 9-11? An inside job."

"What's one thing Lance Armstrong can still make money from? LIESTRONG bracelets."

"What's another word for a face tattoo? An everlasting jobstopper."

"I was watching the Dyslexic news channel earlier. Apparently North Korea are making unclear threats to the US."

"I think at this point, a pterodactyl egg has better odds of getting laid than I do."

"How do you build a flea circus? You have to start from scratch."

"What do you call love between a Dick and an Asshole? Tainted Love"