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Joke of the Day

"A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else's, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat."

"What is a pirate's least favorite letter? A letter from the cable company..."

"If everybody became a zombie, which zombie would be the most life-threatening one? None of them, since everybody is already dead."

"I know my mum has a dildo because I hear her drawer slam shut every night before she switches off her light in the next room... ...I wish this was a joke."

"I'm so lazy, if autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I put my phone down."

"Why don't you sleep with an 90 year old lady..... Have you ever tried to peel a grilled cheese apart?!?"

"What do you call the german version of Harry Potter? Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas."

"[30 Days of Christmas Jokes] Why was Santa's little helper sad? Because he had low ELFesteem"

"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill I told him, ""My door is always open""."

"When I die, I'd like the word Humble' to be written. .......on my statue."