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Joke of the Day
"When I die, I'd like the word Humble' to be written. .......on my statue."
Next Joke
"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up and put in a freezer"
"Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two mars bars fall out of a vending machine at once."
"Women should not be allowed to eat They always poop afterwards"
"I was getting a handjob from this blind hooker... She told me: WOW! This is the biggest dick I have ever felt! I said ""No way! You're pulling my leg!"""
"You know you've got a real fatty in bed when her boobs taste like deodorant"
"If maxi pad commercials didn't exist, us women would have no idea that we're full of blue windshield wiper fluid."
"Are you still looking for a job? I hear they're hiring at the zoo circumcising elephants. The pay is small, but the tips are big!"
"*Looks around nervously* The steam from my pasta is ungluing my chest hair toupee and the other mafia bosses are taking notice."
"Some jerk called me ""pretentious"" so I called him a ""planktupus."" I can make up nonsense words too."