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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with bad hair? Donny Trump"
Next Joke
"Doctor: You have bronchitis Me: OMG I've always wanted a dinosaur!What do I feed it?"
"Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don't know the route."
"Reasons I Can Relate To Raccoons: 1) Dark circles around eyes. 2) Eats junk. 3) Small and chubby. 4) Stays up all night. 5) Cute but will fight you."
"-gestures to everything in the Garage- Me- THESE ARE MY TOOLS AND I AM THEIR KING!!! Wife- YOU'RE a tool Me- DAMN RIGHT I AM Wait..what?"
"When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with"
"So I married way too young... Oops, she spells it Wei Tu Yung"
"My bank account has 7 figures but 6 of them are to the right of the decimal point."
"What's the difference between Russian football fans and an old drunkard in a bar at closing time? Kicking the old drunkard out won't start world war III."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Argo ! Argo who ? Argo down to the beach for my holidays"